THE GIFT OF FEEDBACK

One of the most challenging things that we do as leaders is to ask for and receive feedback, specifically feedback for improvement. Over the years of providing executive coaching, I’ve learned that no matter how well feedback is crafted, or creatively it’s packaged, it can sting. Yet feedback is everywhere in our daily lives—the bathroom scale, a mirror and performance reviews.
 
Great leaders have the courage to ask for feedback and receive it for what it is—sometimes an ugly-wrapped gift that offers a pearl of wisdom for growth and understanding. Great leaders receive feedback as an input mechanism for growth and development. How well are you prepared to receive feedback from peers, subordinates and supervisors in an open and curious way? How defensive or unprepared are you to respond to any and all requests? It also takes non-defensive behavior to clearly articulate gratitude for the feedback; then get clear about what behaviors would be more effective.
 
Imagine that you start asking your direct reports for feedback. “Is there anything that I could stop doing or start doing that would make our relationship better?” Maybe one brave team member tells you that you need to stop scheduling so many meetings, so he has time to do the work you are asking of him. Do you lean in and continue to ask questions to clarify the request, or do you shut the conversation down and take the feedback personally? Do you behave like you are sincerely interested in the feedback, or do you jump to defend your behavior? What happens if you can’t make the change your direct report suggests?
 
As a leader, you have to decide if you are willing to hear the feedback, and if you are willing to change the behavior. What would help you hear the feedback with curiosity, not judgment? If you aren’t willing to change the behavior, are there alternatives? Is there a way to work with this team member to solve his challenge? Or something else? Think about how you can be open and also have your own thoughts about the feedback without being perceived as defensive or closed to feedback.
 
A few tips for receiving feedback:

• Reframe the way you think about feedback. Look at feedback as a gift for your growth and development. It’s data and perhaps insight into a blind spot that you’re unable to observe about yourself.
• Receive the feedback without judgment. Think about how much courage it takes to give and receive honest feedback. Assume that the giver has good intentions and may not always have an elegant way of delivering the message. Try not to judge yourself too harshly upon hearing criticism.
• Take notes and ask for clarification and examples. This demonstrates your sincerity while making sure that you clearly understand the feedback.
• Thank the person for her courage and tell her what you are willing to do next. This reinforces that the message was received, and you’re committed to doing better.
• Ask for feedback consistently and frequently. This improves your chances of receiving gems for your growth and the betterment of your team. Adopt a habit of asking for feedback at the end of meetings and one-on-ones: “What would have made this a better meeting?” Frequency will reduce the sting over time.                                                

 
Feedback is essential for great leadership and it’s a skill to be learned. No one is born with an innate ability give and receive feedback. It’s a practice that can be developed as a component of your leadership brand.